It’s the time of year when we give thanks for the things we are so grateful to have in our lives. Granted, many of us share the same thankful thoughts. Right?
Your list may or may not include:
Family and friends
Lack of family and friends (yes, that can be a blessing)
Health, wealth and social status
Food and shelter
Military protection, doctors and scientific discoveries.
There’s also a segment of us who will be thankful for our educations, pets (if you didn’t already include them with the family as they should have been in the first place), cars, hair stylists, video game high scores and special abilities in the bedroom….or out of the bedroom.
Our list of thankfulnesses (yes, I made that word up) could go on and on with serious things, mundane things, common-sense things and mind-numbing idiotic things.
When it comes to your turn at the family dinner to name one thing you are thankful for this year….throw a curve ball and be thankful for something you normally wouldn’t think to appreciate. To help you get your creative talents flowing, I offer you my list of unusual thankfullnesses below:
Toilet plungers
Not having to wash clothes in the river
Reflective paint
Double sided tape
Toothpaste
Ear plugs
Chapstick
Not being attacked by domesticated house animals (i.e. dog, cat, lizard, pig, goat)
Flashlights
Tongs
Tape dispensers
Escalators
Elevators
Dental floss
Air conditioning
Cursing that idiot who (fill in the blank here) with severe diarrhea in rush hour traffic
Animals that eat the damn mosquito
Hand sanitizer
Sex toy sanitizer
Air sanitizer
Public pool sanitizer filters
Bleach
Hide-a-keys
Inflatable beach rafts
Costco samples
Not married to or dating an axe murder
Hidden agendas
Invisible ink
Hooker shoes
Rubber
Candy necklaces
Heated toilet seats
Wheeled suitcases
Lint rollers
Glow in the dark condoms
Inventory control specialists
The first person who decided it might be okay to try and eat a King Crab
and lastly……
for now….
my favorite….
Kola Bear farts (they smell like cough drops)
If you are desperate please feel free to use one of the suggestions listed above. It’s only a small sampling of the endless list of available thankfullnesses.
Wishing you a fabulous Thanksgiving and remember, it’s now officially okay to put up your Christmas decorations. However, if I catch you preparing for Valentine’s Day before Christmas has arrived, we’re going to put you through an intervention.
