The last time I had a good nights sleep was in the womb.
While I love to sleep, I would not get a Girl Scout badge for being able to get a Good Night’s Sleep. My sleep is disturbed on a nightly basis.
Many of us encounter sleep hindrances at night. Like the boogie man of our younger years. It’s like dangling your feet over the edge of the bed and taunting the monster who lives underneath, “Come and get me.” Who will it be tonight?
I’m not even going to discuss the ancient old night time sleep suckers of:
- Over active brain: computing the answer to mathematical coupon codes and grocery balances only Mrs. Brady would be proud to solve.
- Night sweats: so horrendous you think you just went through Niagara Falls.
- Wiggly Leg Syndrome: where you too, can pretend to run the marathon. Any marathon.
- Snoring: Your partner’s participation in the “1912 Overture” inserting their snoring as the cannons.
We could go on and on. Eating too late, drinking coffee too late, put down the iPhone for crying out loud! Uncomfortable bed, too many blankets, exercised too late…maybe your counting sheep are on strike. (told you to buy the second cut hay.)
However, I’m finding my sleep is being interrupted by absurdities. The ironic thing?
I’m not willing to give them up.
Take this morning for example. Literally. 5:15AM.
I woke up to a “gobble gobble gobble.”
“Gobble gobble gobble.”
“Gobble gobble gobble.”
Sounds lovely doesn’t it? Right below my window.
Nature’s alarm clock.
Not one. Not two. Not three turkeys.
All chatting. Gobbling. Talking over one another.
Obviously, about how well they slept.
Imagine a gaggle of elderly ladies all shouting about how wonderful their grandchildren are…or better yet a group of people standing in line at Starbucks waiting in line and the machines go down…”Where’s MY COFFEE?!” “MINE FIRST!”
Next up are the party animals.
At first you don’t notice them. Just a bit of loud casual conversations. Next, the group gets going into a roar and then it’s a howler and everyone is in on the whooping and yelping. Good grief I always think. There’s only a few of you…amazing the noise.
I don’t keep late hours. So when this gang gets going somewhere between 9:00PM and 3:00AM…they’re killing me.
Seriously, I love my coyotes though.
I have to laugh, if they start early enough and I’m up and doing something in the living room…..often I think… “that’s a really odd emergency alarm.” Nope. It’s the coyotes out back.
I post their voices regularly on my FB page through video….it’s something else.
Speaking of sleep habits, last week I woke up in a panic and was immediately annoyed with myself. I realized I had overslept.
I woke up my better half and told him, “Oh my god! I overslept! I missed my dentist appointment.”
His response was, “When was your appointment?”
I tell him it was at 10:00AM and it’s NOW 10:30AM! I overslept! I missed my appointment!
By this time, I was out of the bed. I’m completely baffled how this could have happened as I set my alarm. He gets up at a ridiculously early time every day, before the worms and birds are even up. He would have made sure I was up. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?
My better half says, “Your appointment was on Thursday?”
I say “Yes! At 10:00AM!”
He looks at me and then says, “It’s 10:30PM. It’s NIGHT TIME. Go back to bed.”
I look at him.
I look at how BRIGHT it is in our bedroom.
I don’t believe him.
All the clocks (three of them) say 10:30.
He tells me again, “It’s 10:30 at NIGHT.”
Doubting him still, I go out to the living room and look out the window.
Well hell. He’s right. It’s night time.
You see, we recently purchased a Himalayan Salt Lamp for the bedroom as several people have told us how wonderful they are for helping with various issues such as migraine headaches. They’re also, when they don’t have a dimmer switch, VERY BRIGHT.
Damn Himalayan Salt Lamp. Case Three
Last night, again, I woke up in a panic.
I thought our bedroom was on fire.
Nope, just the damn lamp.