There’s a What in My Belly Button?

I wouldn’t say I am a giant germophobe.

I go to the movie theater without concern.  I drink out of restaurant glassware, although I will admit I am about two steps away from bringing my own silverware.  Thank God payphones are going away, I couldn’t use those anymore.  You know, close talkers and all.  WAH!  And I certainly won’t use a public water fountain or get into a public hot tub or pool.  (Don’t even get me started on those.)

However my biggest weakness is the 3 x 3 space called airplane seats.  Before storing my bag under the seat I break out my alcohol wipes.

I wipe down the seat belt clasp, both arm rests,  the incher recliner button, head rest, all of the tray table, the clip that holds the tray in place and the lip of the seat pocket. This is true, even when in first class.  I don’t discriminate against the germs.

Technically, whatever you do, you shouldn’t even use that pocket in the first place.

Ignore it.

Resist all temptation to put anything in there!

Do you know what’s been in there? Used vomit bags, used tissues, dirty napkins, napkins with spit, used cups, gum, candy wrappers that have been chewed on, diapers, used diapers, water bottles that are probably covered in germs, ear wax from headphones, lice from hats, half eaten items of questionable origins, finger nail clippings….not to mention toe jam from the people in flip flops that use the seat as a foot rest and finally boogers too boot!

There’s a plethora of bacteria growing on that material!  I didn’t even have to mention unwashed hands touching the magazines or flight safety card.   When was the last time any of this was actually disinfected?

Remember how there was always a mad dash to get the pillows and blankets on the plane?  Thank goodness they’ve gone the way of the 8-track tape….they were oceans of germs!

It makes me a little woozy just thinking about it.  So is there any wonder I disinfect like a crazy person when I get on?  Next time you have to fly, I bet you think twice about what you’re touching.

Betcha.

The other day, I was at the gym and came out of the toilet, washed my hands and noticed the woman in the stall next to me didn’t bother to even approach the sink when she came out of the stall.  She immediately went right out of the locker room.

If I could come up with a tactful way of saying, “OMG!  You didn’t wash your hands!  That’s so disgusting.” I would say it.  Unfortunately, I know myself well enough that it wouldn’t come out anything close to something Miss Manners would approve of in society.  It would be more like a rant from Ozzy Osbourne, or having just watched The Dictator, it would come out more like, “What The Fuck!”  See, that’s not so Emily Post either.

Now every time I see this lady I know she’s not a washer.  If I was ever introduced to her I’d end up declining the hand shake.  “I’m sorry.  Normally, I’d shake your hand but I know you don’t wash after peeing.”  That would be the end of the friendship.  Which would be a blessing.

We’ve all heard the stories about hotel rooms.  Put the remote in a baggie, it’s covered in germs from every orifice of the human body.  Immediately remove the bed spread.  They’re covered in dried puddles of once oozy fluid – we’ve seen that proven time and time again on investigative reporting shows.

The cleanest thing in a hotel room is probably you!

Of course, I am a firm believer, without a little dirt in your life, you’d be sick quite often.  You need to build up your immunity to the tiniest wonders of the living world.  Dirt is good.  There are things I don’t need to know and I’m okay knowing that over time, yes, I have probably eaten a bug or three.  It’s highly likely I have accidentally eaten hair – not of my own.  Random flecks of whatever have made their way into my body and the hearty little army of germ fighters have kept the battle strong and keep fighting the good fight.  Thank you.

However, the other day, I had a “like” on my blog,”Best Night’s Sleep in Ages” from Twinkling Pebbles and decided to check out her blog.  She had written about an article that was recently published online via National Geographic about what scientists are researching regarding…yes, that’s correct…our belly buttons.

They have described it as being similar to a rainforest……full of bacteria!  Seriously, how many of us have actually thought about scrubbing out that little innie or outie?  Well, now you should or sign up for the research.  According to the NatGeo article, “From 60 belly buttons, the team found 2,368 bacterial species, 1,458 of which may be new to science.”

That’s it, I now have a child’s toothbrush in the shower, to clean out my belly button rain forest!  Now of course I’m curious, is it easier to clean an innie or an outie?  I don’t know.  This could be worse than toe jam on your tray table!

Time to invent some alcohol q-tips swabs….

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