Thank Goodness For That

It’s the time of year when we  give thanks for the things we are so grateful to have in our lives.   Granted, many of us share the same thankful thoughts.  Right?

Your list may or may not include:

Family and friends

Lack of family and friends (yes, that can be a blessing)

Health, wealth and social status

Food and shelter

Military protection, doctors and scientific discoveries.

There’s also a segment of us who will be thankful for our educations, pets (if you didn’t already include them with the family as they should have been in the first place), cars, hair stylists, video game high scores and special abilities in the bedroom….or out of the bedroom.

Our list of thankfulnesses (yes, I made that word up) could go on and on with serious things, mundane things, common-sense things and mind-numbing idiotic things.

When it comes to your turn at the family dinner to name one thing you are thankful for this year….throw a curve ball and be thankful for something you normally wouldn’t think to appreciate.  To help you get your creative talents flowing, I offer you my list of unusual thankfullnesses below:

Toilet plungers

Not having to wash clothes in the river

Reflective paint

Double sided tape

Toothpaste

Ear plugs

Chapstick

Not being attacked by domesticated house animals (i.e. dog, cat, lizard, pig, goat)

Flashlights

Tongs

Tape dispensers

Escalators

Elevators

Dental floss

Air conditioning

Cursing that idiot who (fill in the blank here) with severe diarrhea in rush hour traffic

Animals that eat the damn mosquito

Hand sanitizer

Sex toy sanitizer

Air sanitizer

Public pool sanitizer filters

Bleach

Hide-a-keys

Inflatable beach rafts

Costco samples

Not married to or dating an axe murder

Hidden agendas

Invisible ink

Hooker shoes

Rubber

Candy necklaces

Heated toilet seats

Wheeled suitcases

Lint rollers

Glow in the dark condoms

Inventory control specialists

The first person who decided it might be okay to try and eat a King Crab

and lastly……

for now….

my favorite….

Kola Bear farts (they smell like cough drops)

 

If you are desperate please feel free to use one of the suggestions listed above.  It’s only a small sampling of the endless list of available thankfullnesses.

Wishing you a fabulous Thanksgiving and remember, it’s now officially okay to put up your Christmas decorations.  However, if I catch you preparing for Valentine’s Day before Christmas has arrived, we’re going to put you through an intervention.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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