I Won…I Won…I Won….I Won!

It doesn’t take much to make me happy….

Tell me I’m “East Coast Beautiful” – whatever that means.
Let me be right about something for a change.
Write on my FB page that I never cease to “amaze you with my creativity.”

Or let me finally win a place in the annual Wearable Art Show!

Finally, my fourth year and I managed to eeek out a third place win on day two! Yahoo!

Yes, I’m from the east coast, so there’s always that competitive drive that rumbles from within, however it isn’t like a blaring siren for me. You know what I’m talking about.

There’s the women, who at a baby shower, will buzz in to answer the Baby Jeopardy questions faster than an Amway representative can ring your doorbell with desires to talk to you about how you too can make millions.

Or the women who nearly knock out front teeth trying to get the stupid bouquet at a wedding. Really, you want to get married that badly? Wow.

The east coast is filled with what I call the “one-uppers.” That’s one of the reasons I left. I was exhausted trying to keep up with the Mary’s, Lisa’s and Cindy’s…..let alone what would have happened if I stayed, got married and then had to compete with the Jone’s, Smith’s and Wilson’s!

In the cheetah race of life, I’m more like the silent fox who waits on the side to pounce when the moment of opportunity aligns with my emotional well being and sense of humor. If Mary bought a BMW, good for her…but I’m completely happy with Norman, my fire engine red, Toyota Yaris….he’s a bad ass in my eyes. I’m not planning on being identified by the car I drive….it’s a car!

My perfect house is a cute Cape Cod somewhere, near the water, with a deck overlooking a private backyard, with fire pit, lots of trees and birds. I’m more concerned with having room for wild rabbits, porcupines and deer or bears than I am with if my yard is bigger and better than Matt and Kate’s next door. I don’t need a 5 bath, 7 bedroom mansion with gated driveway. I really want peace, quiet and privacy. Besides I don’t have to dust and clean….peace, quiet and privacy…

What matters most is if I enjoy my little world. If my world is happy, then I am happy.

So for four years I have applied my creative talents to this fundraiser art show – because it makes me happy. My creations have taken upwards of six months to create. The art shows cause me to go through the 3 S Program. I know you’ve been through this program as well. The 3 S Program: Sweat, Swear and Stress. Amazingly enough I think the rate of hair fall out has dropped dramatically since the conclusion of the event.

2010 Wearable Art Show

It makes me happy to create a vision. What annoys the hell out of me is when everyone isn’t treated on a level playing field. Hence the competition drive kicks in and I start to yell like a banshee. You see, each year a design is entered by The Wood Man. His designs are fabulous. Fabulous to the point of winning INTERNATIONAL Wearable Art awards. Yes, first place in the INTERNATIONAL Wearable Art Show.

You’d think he’d be given a private spotlight in our local show – to showcase his masterpieces – because they are quite stunning. However, no….he’s just another artist in the show, along with the rest of us struggling peons. Somehow, that’s not right.

The struggling peons should show with the other struggling peons.
We shouldn’t have to be crushed by the INTERNATIONAL winner and flatted like a stick of gum under a paving truck on a hot summer day. We have no chance when lined up next to the Wood Man.

So again, this year, I take my most fantastic self and design to the show. All along thinking: what is Wood Man doing this year? Just once let me fly past him like a lioness on a hot pursuit of an antelope dinner.

2011 Wearable Art Show

2011 Wearable Art

The show was fantastic! We raised thousands of dollars for the local arts center. I was having a ball of a time. My outfit included confetti cannons being shot into the crowd. I had a headpiece that was worthy of a Vegas show and an starting outfit that could have walked along with the Philadelphia Mummers.

Finally, I spy the Wood Man’s creation. Really? That can’t be right. Where’s the wood? What happened? Is that wire? Huh.

You can imagine the mayhem in my house on Monday night….after learning I placed third for the Sunday show. Cat hair was flying, heels were kicking up, small pets were scurrying for cover and shots of chocolate vodka were on high demand in celebration as I ran around yelling, ” I WON I WON I WON I WON!”

Sadly, The Wood Man did not place – on either day.

Did I mention? I WON I WON I WON!

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