Sorry, I Have No Clue What You Just Said.

We are in the Mayan Riviera, my cousin and I. We get through Customs and into our waiting resort van and it hits me. I have no clue what these people are saying.

Great, here we go again.

Not that I expected to somehow understand Spanish overnight, however I was hopeful that if they spoke English I might be able to catch every other word. Honestly, I´m lucky if I catch every 14th word, which can lead to slightly awkward situations.

At lunch today my cousin had to use the bathroom. She never has to use the bathroom. I swear her bladder is the size of one of those giant water towers you see in rural towns. She just rarely pees. I don´t know how she does it. The weatherman just mentions rain and I have to pee. Strange.

So she left me at lunch to pee and a flare gun must have gone off over my head as waiters were coming at me left and right. Yes, I am fully aware now that if the waiter says, “a humma na na humm na ha ha.” He could be asking if I want toothpaste on my pasta but all I heard was “a humma na na humm na ha ha” so I nod and smile. then, as my short history has it here today, the waiter trys again and says, “Where are you from?” Ohhhh, got it….Alaska. Thanks. And insert the nod and smile…..

I swear, this trip is supposed to be relaxing and I am already breaking a sweat on my upper lip. To add to my pressure of the wait staff, everyone here greets everyone as you walk past. My cousin yells out “hola….hola…..hola…..hola….!” Really? I am barely managing to hang on and yell out a “hola” instead of a “hoola!” This time tomorrow I may throw out the “hello, how are you in Spanish” then keep my fingers crossed that conversation stops there. I would type out how you say it but, I can´t spell it.

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